2014-0425 Is it Wrong?

Hi All –

In this Friday’s class, I posed the following scenario:

You are shopping at Target when you see an elderly woman look around and furtively pocket something.  Should you tell an employee?  Would it make a difference if the person stealing were young?  Does the gender make a difference? 

You will notice that not all the details of the situation are given, are they?  For instance, how is the elderly woman dressed?  Does she appear as someone in need?  Or is she wearing jewelry and an expensive coat?  The answer to those questions made a difference to our group as to what the best course of action would be.  If she appeared needy, many in our group would look the other way, in other words, not report her.  If she appeared to be well-off, then it might be assumed that she was a thrill-seeker in which case the group was more likely to report her to an employee. 

In the case of the elderly woman, gender did not make a difference.  An older man would not be reported by the majority of our group if he seemed to be in need but if he were well-off, again he would probably be reported to an employee.

Some in our group would try a different tack and speak directly to the person.  Certainly, a person caught shoplifting by another customer would normally be mortified, and that in itself might cause the speedy return of the item to the shelves. 

Another possibility would be that the person would be outraged at the accusation, indignantly explaining that they were intending to pay for the item at the checkstand.

Included in this mix of possibilities is the chance that the person was mentally unstable, in which case it would be best not to engage in any encounter.  In this situation, alerting an employee would be the best course of action.

In the scenario where the person stealing an item were young, the consensus of the group was that the theft should be reported to an employee.  Gender in this case didn’t matter either.  The feeling was that young people still need correction to help them become productive, law-abiding citizens. 

You might feel that stealing is wrong under any circumstances.  It shouldn’t matter if the person is young, old, male or female.  But are laws written by fallible human beings the only laws we ought to live by?  If a man steals a loaf of bread to feed his starving family as explored in the novel “Les Misérables” by Victor Hugo, he definitely has broken a law.  Should he then be brought to justice?  Is justice served by putting someone in jail who is merely trying to provide food to his family? Or is there a moral justice which trumps man’s justice and views the theft with compassion and forgiveness?

Have a great week!

Kevin

2014-0421 Moving

Hi All –

Last Monday ( only a week ago at the time of this writing but by the time you are reading this, who knows HOW long it’s been) my wife Kathleen and I drove up north to the Sacramento area to help our kids, Dave and Kelly, prepare for moving.  The date of the move was going to be the next Saturday so there was much preparation to do. 

Dave and Kelly have a 2-year old daughter, Katelyn, who is undergoing treatment for a serious medical condition known as  Aplastic Anemia, which means that her bone marrow is not producing enough of the cells needed to maintain a viable immune system.  Therefore, she needs to be isolated from most everyone.  One of our main jobs, then, was to be with Katelyn so her parents could prepare for this move. 

As you probably have done yourself, one of the jobs in packing is to protect fragile collectibles such as you might display on an étagère.  This can be a time consuming job as each piece brings back fond memories of the event or manner in which you acquired it.  Perhaps it was a housewarming gift or a present from a well-wisher when you first announced that you were expecting.  Maybe it was a objet d’art which you discovered in a cozy gift shop while on vacation and it reminded you of a treasured childhood experience. 

Some people collect teacups and display those, other might collect Dresden plates, or spoons, or thimbles.  Dolls are popular as well.  Whatever floats your boat.  You’ll notice that most of the things - - - okay, ALL of the things I mentioned - - are probably collected by women.  Men collect stuff like back issues of Sports Illustrated”, “Motor Sports”, “Field and Stream” or beer steins.  These are not usually displayed in fancy display cases.  The magazines pile up in a corner until the exasperated housewife relocates them to the trash can and the beer steins are in a box somewhere in the garage behind a precarious pile of other unmarked boxes rivaling the Great Pyramid of Giza. 

George Carlin quips that “A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on  it.”  Well, there was a lot of stuff – that’s for sure.

But I digress.  Our kids had some collectibles and we wrapped those in bubble wrap and placed them carefully into boxes.  We also wrapped their framed pictures and other wall hangings.  

On the Friday before the move, we packed up the kitchen – all the plates, glasses, silverware, etc. and began using paper plates and plastic ware.  The beds were dismantled and brought downstairs to be staged in the garage along with bookcases with their concomitant boxes of books, chairs and other furniture.

On Saturday, the kids rented this huge U-Haul truck and parked it in front of their house.  And their neighbor’s house.  And THEIR neighbor’s house.  I told you it was long!  Anyway, a lot of young, strong and helpful people showed up and quickly moved everything into the truck, then reconvened at the new house (located only a few miles from the old location) and moved everything out of the truck.  Kelly had color-coded all the boxes with colored tape so boxes could easily be sorted as to where they should go.

In short order, the kitchen was put together again, the bed reassembled, the tables put in place and the bookcases were installed, after which the people dissipated to go about their own affairs.  What a great experience!

Have a great week!

Kevin

Reminder:  If you are unsure about the meaning of the idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech, and Proverbs" posted on this blog in August 2013.  An alternative is to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com

2014-0411 Pacific Grove

Hi All –

A few days ago, my wife and I took a day trip to Pacific Grove, California which is adjacent to Monterey.  (That’s Monterey, not to be confused with Monterrey, which is in Mexico.)   Pacific Grove was celebrating their Good Old Days Festival.  I wanted to share some pictures with you.

First of all, we stopped by to look at the quilt exhibit.  Fabric artists from around the area enter their quilts to be admired by the public at this exhibition.  You can see so much creativity in these works of art.

Since this was a festival day, there were a number of street vendors and people outdoors celebrating this colorful and joyous occasion.

The town of Pacific Grove is a modest, sleepy little village but still boasts some buildings of unusual architectural design.  In this picture, we can see the lighthouse at the end of Lighthouse Avenue.

And looking in the other direction, we can see another of those ubiquitous Starbucks rising above its neighbors.

The area around Pacific Grove is renowned for its famous golf courses.  Many people love to come here for the unique challenges the local courses present.  Here we see one of the more difficult holes, based on a space theme.

Not to be forgotten is the fine cuisine available everywhere!  First, a robust lunch at a local café.  Can you say “Jaws?”

This was followed by a delicious Crème Brulee at Old Fisherman’s Grotto. (Which actually is in Monterey.)

Naturally, being on the coast, boating is an important activity and the nearby marina stands ready to serve all would-be recreational sailors.  Here are some modest examples of the types of boats moored at the docks.

And here is one of the boats that is used for whale watching expeditions.  All aboard!

I almost forgot to mention the beautiful coastline in Pacific Grove!  Driving along Sunset which hugs the coast, you can see some wonderful vistas!

All in all, Pacific Grove is a wonderful place to relax.  Drive down, leave all your cares at home and immerse yourself in the soothing waters.

Have a great week!

Kevin

Reminder:  If you are unsure about the meaning of the idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech, and Proverbs" posted on this blog in August 2013.  An alternative is to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com

2014-0403 Zen Story

Hello All –

In her book “There Is Nothing Wrong With You,” Cheri Huber paraphrases an old Zen story as follows:

“ A woman went to a Zen monastery.  She was so thrilled to be there – such a holy place, a place of enlightenment

The first sitting period, she walked mindfully up the steps of the meditation hall. As she was preparing to bow deeply before entering, she noticed a shocking thing.  There, at the top of the steps, was a bucket of filthy wash water with a mop protruding from the murky depths. 

“That’s awful!” she exclaimed, truly horrified, and went in to meditate.

The next morning the bucket was still there.

“That’s disgusting,” she muttered, “this is Zen?” and went in to meditate.

The next morning, the same bucket.  She exclaimed, “I can’t believe this!  This is ridiculous.  Someone should do something about this,” and went in to meditate.

The fourth morning, there was the bucket, hardly improved by the days of neglect.  The woman looked at the bucket and thought, “I’m someone,” and took it away and cleaned it. “

I imagine that you had some kind of reaction when reading this story. Perhaps it was “What does this have to do with me?”, or “Boy, I can totally relate!  People should clean up after themselves!”  Maybe your reaction went along the lines of “As usual, the women have to clean up after the men!” 

But the purpose of the story was not about placing blame.  I think it was about developing awareness and taking responsibility. 

Do you think the following two scenarios are related to the story?

Scenario 1 :

A month ago, a woman invited her social club over for lunch and the date was now only 3 days away.   She had asked her husband repeatedly to mow the lawn; it looked bad then and now it looked really terrible and she was embarrased to face her neighbors.  What would her friends from the social club say if they saw how neglected her yard was?  Each time she had asked her husband to mow the lawn, he always said that he would get around to it.  But he always seemed to be too busy at work.  And now time was running out and she was disgusted.

Scenario 2:

For almost a month, now, a man had been arriving home from work and finding that dinner hadn’t even been started yet, let alone ready to eat.  He worked long hours on his job and expected that his wife would appreciate his efforts to support the family by providing hot, delicious meals.  When he asked her about the situation, she complained about being tired, especially as the children weren’t feeling well.  He didn’t think that was much of an excuse and angrily turned on the TV.

Are there other scenarios in your life similar to these?  Do you find yourself getting upset with others?  Looking for fault?  Casting blame?  Has that ever improved anything?

Have a great week!

Kevin

Reminder:  If you are unsure about the meaning of the idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech, and Proverbs" posted on this blog in August 2013.  An alternative is to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com