Hi All -
A few weeks ago,
(Feb 14 ), I wrote about goals with the idea that it would behoove us to
think about our long-term goals and, if we didn’t have any, create some. Having long-range goals gives us
added zest for living – we have something tangible and positive to
anticipate. This gives us
incentive, imbues us with energy and helps create a positive outlook on life.
That said, the question becomes: “How do I formulate these
goals and how can I then achieve them?”
At this juncture, I would like to suggest that if you are
married, then as a team, you and your spouse work together on goals common to
you both. Your goals will affect
your spouse and vice versa.
Ideally, each of you in a marriage will be a champion for the other;
supporting and encouraging each other when the obstacles to reaching your goals
seem insurmountable.
So . . . if you are wishing to create some long-range goals,
then I would suggest the following steps:
Set aside some time to fully engage in this activity in a
quiet area.
You can do this by yourself, with your spouse, or with some
good friends.
Have sheets of blank paper and pencils or a large whiteboard
available.
Now just start writing down any goals which come to your
mind. This is called brainstorming
when you do it with others. Do not
worry if the goals seem trivial and do not try to prioritize them. That comes later.
Example: I sit
down by myself in a quiet place, visualize what I want my life to be like in a
few years, and then start writing down any goals which come into my mind, no
matter how trivial they may seem.
Here’s my list so far:
Learn Mandarin
Write to my cousins – it’s been WAY too long!
Develop my spiritual side
Clean my desk – again, WAY too long!
Confront my fear of aging
Decide what to do with the backyard.
Make some good friends
Learn to live in the present without worrying so much about
the future.
Help others when I have the opportunity
Exercise more – especially stretches
You will create a list like this comprised of goals which
seem very important and some that are less significant.
Now pick 3 or 4 of these goals – the ones that are the most
important to you. You can mark these goals with a little asterisk if you feel
so inclined.
IMPORTANT: IF a
goal seems scary to try to accomplish, then that probably is one which will
help you grow the most. As Carl
Jung said, “Where your fear is, so is your task.”
Some goals might be impractical so it’s best to discard
those. For instance, if I had put
“Buy an island in the South Pacific”, then I might need to dispense with
that. Piloting a Lockheed
Martin F-35 Lightning II fighter would have to go as well. ( I’m afraid of heights.)
Using a separate sheet of paper for each of your important
goals (you may have 3 or 4 of those.
Or possibly just 1), rewrite the goal at the top of the page and then
begin to think of what steps you would have to take to achieve this goal. If the steps seem too big, then see if
you can break them down into smaller, manageable steps. Baby steps if you will.
Look at your schedule and see where you can incorporate some
of these steps into your routine. Make a plan to put these steps into action
because just having them written down will not accomplish your goals. IF you find that you are
procrastinating in actualizing these steps, then it’s time to see where the
roadblocks are. Something (fear of
failure?, fear of change? lack of support? ) is holding you back.
I’ll write about dealing with fear in a later blog. When I figure it out. That’s one of my goals, you see.
Have a great week!
Kevin
Reminder: If you are unsure about the meaning of the
idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech,
and Proverbs" posted on this blog in August 2013. An alternative is
to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com
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