2014-0620 Fear Of Speaking

Hi All –

As an ESL learner, have you ever been in a situation (maybe in a class) where you are talking in English in front of people and everything is going pretty well until suddenly you can’t remember the right word to say or somebody interrupts you to correct your pronunciation?  

Did you notice that at that point, everything seems to go downhill and you become tongue-tied and nervous?  You stop thinking about the subject you are presenting and start criticising yourself. 

Your negative thoughts might take the form of:

I can’t remember the right words.

Everybody is looking at me.

I’m pronouncing the words wrong.

Nobody understands what I am saying.

Everybody else is better at English than I am.

I don’t really belong here.

I’ll never get this right.

Everybody else is smarter than I am.

People are judging me harshly.

I’m wasting their time.

I just want to go home.

I feel isolated and afraid.

If you have experienced this, then take heart.  You are not alone.  Many people, including myself and other native English speakers, have a fear of speaking in public. 

Now imagine that you are sitting in the audience listening to someone else giving a presentation.  You notice that they sometimes struggle to find the right word.  They talk rather slowly and sometimes they don’t pronounce their words correctly.  They begin to seem a little nervous.  At this point, what feelings do you have for the presenter?

Do you think, “Oh, she is doing it all wrong.  I’m glad I’m smarter than her.  I don’t think she belongs here.  She’s wasting my time!” ? 

I don’t think so.

Rather, don’t you feel a bit sympathetic towards her because you empathize with her fear?  Perhaps you are thinking “Yes, you can do this?” In other words, don’t you feel supportive of this person, wishing them success? 

I think the reason we feel supportive of people who are struggling to improve themselves is that ALL of us are struggling with some issues, whether public speaking or other social situations or who knows what.  This struggle bonds us together and it strengthens us to see someone else succeed.  Why?  Because it gives us hope that we can succeed someday in our own struggles.  Especially with the love and support of the people around us. 

Have a great week!

Kevin

Reminder:  If you are unsure about the meaning of the idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech, and Proverbs" posted on this blog in August 2013.  An alternative is to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com