Dear All –
May you all have a Happy New Year, filled with joy, love,
good health, prosperity and happiness!
I find it hard to believe that it is already 2014. Wasn’t it only a few years back that I
was working on the Y2K problem – ensuring that our software would not fail when
the year clocked over to 2000?
(Y2K is an acronym for Year 2000).
A child born when I was working on that problem would be entering high
school this year.
I had thought I might write about the cycle of endings and beginnings,
the old giving way to the new, fresh growth springing up from the fallen leaves
of autumn, night transforming into day, the phoenix arising from the ashes of
the funeral pyre but instead I’ll write about resolutions.
Many people in the United States make New Year’s resolutions
which generally are modes of behavior that they wish to change or adopt. For instance, gym memberships peak at
this time of the year because people feel guilty about gaining weight and
neglecting to exercise. Now I’m
not talking about Bob standing over there. He’s that guy with the flabby arms whose gut is hanging so
far over his belt that his feet are permanently in the shade. Sure he’s obese but he doesn’t feel
guilty about it at all. But many
people ARE concerned about how they look.
So a typical resolution for one of these folks might be: “I resolve to go to the gym every week
and exercise. I also resolve to
lose 20 pounds by March.” Also
popular are self-enhancement resolutions such as “I resolve to learn a foreign
language” and “I resolve to do at least one thing on my bucket list.” (A bucket list is a list of activities
which you’ve always wanted to do but never could because of circumstances. Traveling to Italy might be one of
these activities or taking a trip in a hot air balloon in Napa Valley or
counting huge wads of $1000 bills.)
Personally, I find these types of resolutions too
demanding. They require effort on
my part which is a definite downside.
It has been medically proven that I am allergic to hard work so
naturally I avoid it. How then can
I make New Year’s resolutions? A
good question and one which I pondered on for almost a second before hitting
upon the solution. Obviously, my
resolutions must be fairly effortless to accomplish. So, here are my resolutions for 2014:
1. I resolve
not to dam up the Irrawaddy River.
2. I resolve
not to play the left-handed ocarina after 11 p.m.
3. I resolve to
not feel quite as guilty when I eat 3 cookies when offered only 2.
4. I resolve
not to take the train to Honolulu from San Francisco.
5. I resolve
not to go ice skating on the Lambert Glacier in Antarctica.
6. I resolve to
follow a strict regimen of breathing.
7. I resolve
not to succumb to repeated requests by Beyoncé to be her boy toy.
8. I resolve to
accept any cash donations which may come my way.
9. I resolve
not to be the leading star in any major Hollywood motion picture this
year.
(Unless I am asked.)
So I feel confident in my ability to keep my
resolutions. How about you? What
resolutions have YOU made for this year?
Have a great week and a great year!
Reminder: If you are unsure about the meaning of the
idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech,
and Proverbs" posted in August. An alternative is to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com
No comments:
Post a Comment