2014-0117 Arguments

Hello All –

This week in our conversation class, we briefly touched upon arguments between husbands and wives, narrowly focusing on the area of housework.  To talk about ALL the issues that husbands and wives could argue about would necessitate a weeks-long conference and require several referees and perhaps an umpire or two.  A good starting reference on this subject would be “Things My Girlfriend And I Have Argued About” at http://www.milmillington.com/

Many problems related to housework seem to stem from the pitiable lack of ability on the part of both marriage partners to read each other’s minds and an accompanying difficulty in expressing their wishes verbally.  Here’s a possible scenario:

SCENE (living room).  Jane, frazzled, is just returning home from running errands.  Her husband, John, is on the sofa watching golf on TV.

Jane (thinking to herself):  I’ve been out all day running errands while he’s been home glued to that couch watching TV and the dirty dishes are STILL piled up to the ceiling!  Is he blind? And here’s the pile of clean laundry still waiting to be folded!  The man has to trip over it to go anywhere; why can’t he see it? And then DO something about it instead of always leaving it for me to do!!!

John (thinking): Why is this guy using a pitching wedge when he’s in the sand bunker?

( The player on TV carefully sets up his shot and swings.  The ball flies up in a graceful curve and . . .)

Jane (exasperated) “JOHN! “ And continues on in a rising crescendo about the dishes, the laundry, the disgraceful condition of the yard, other tasks that never seem to get done and devolves quickly into questions about his intelligence and the legitimacy of his parentage.

This is an unhappy scenario; can such scenes be avoided?  Many books have been written about husband-wife relationships and I have read none of them so take what I say with a grain of salt.  Basically, in a nutshell, I would hope that couples can learn to express verbally their wishes and desires, calmly and respectfully, and be willing to listen in the same manner, giving full attention to their spouses instead of mentally formulating a defense and counterattack.  Then, I would also hope that they be willing to compromise when necessary to maintain harmony in the home. 

May you all have a peaceful and harmonious week!

Kevin

Reminder:  If you are unsure about the meaning of the idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech, and Proverbs" posted in August.  An alternative is to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com