2014-0321 Men and Women as Friends

Dear Friends -

What do you think?  Can men and women who aren’t married to each other be friends? 

Has this situation come up for you before?   

Did you notice that I addressed you as friends? Am I wrong?

What does friendship mean?  Certainly you have had good friends in your life and you liked to spend time with them.  When did they become your friends?  What had to happen?

Remember your school days when you were the new kid at a new school and didn’t know anybody?  You felt a bit isolated and lonely.  Everything was somewhat strange and you didn’t know how you would fit in.  The teacher assigned a desk to you and, over the next few days, you began to learn the names of the students around you.  If you were a more sociable and outgoing type, you might have struck up a conversation with the kids next to you – quickly learning who was friendly and who was more reserved.  If you were shy and introverted, you probably hung back and waited until somebody talked to you. 

People are naturally curious about each other so, in some fashion or other, you began to talk with the other students.  One or two (or more) of them seemed to be pleasant or smart or funny and you enjoyed your conversations.  Over time, you began sharing stories or opinions or helping each other with homework.  Perhaps you began meeting after school for activities because you just enjoyed being in each other’s company.  You’ve made a friend.

So after awhile at school you had friends.  You shared things and solicited their opinions.  You felt happy around them. 

Now that you are grown up, you still have friends that you share things with and ask opinions of and spend time with.  You feel comfortable being with them.

A good friend will not abandon you when you are troubled or need help.  As they are able to, they will put aside their own comfort to support you.  These are the people that will come to the hospital when you are having surgery or watch your kids with no notice if an emergency comes up.  If you are moving, they will offer their help packing boxes and moving furniture.  Of course the relationship is a two-way street – you will also want to support your friends in their time of need.

So . . . can men and women be friends?  Certainly, the natural, mutual attraction between men and women is a factor.  ( This is more of a factor for young people; people over 100 probably don’t need to concern themselves with this. ^-^)  Will spending time together trigger a romance?  Well, if neither is married then who knows, the friendship might lead to wedding bells.  It’s been known to happen.  And would that be a bad thing?

In the case that either or both is married, and if either spouse is threatened by the friendship, then the friendship should probably be put on hold.

So, if neither spouse is troubled by your friendship with someone of the opposite sex then I say go for it!  Friendships are vital to a healthy life and, in this day and age, we need all the friends we can get.

What do you think?  If you wish, you can leave a comment at the end of this blog entry.  If you don’t have a Google account, you can choose Anonymous.

Have a great week!

Kevin

Reminder:  If you are unsure about the meaning of the idioms used in this message, please refer to "Idioms, Figures of Speech, and Proverbs" posted on this blog in August 2013.  An alternative is to look at http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com