Hi All –
In our last class, I think there may have been some
confusion between “nervous” and “scared.”
What constitutes the difference?
I’m not exactly sure how to proceed to make this crystal clear; I’m just playing it by ear. Winging it, if you will. Making it up as I go along. So my answer may be a little
shaky. Or it could be completely
right; spot on. Yeah, fat chance
of THAT happening.
Anyway, this is a good time to address this issue, since it
is fresh in your minds. You know,
it’s best to strike when the iron’s hot.
Anyway, I’m hoping there’s a slim chance that you still remember our
class. If you were in my
shoes, how would you proceed?
Maybe by giving some definitions.
Well, as I’m trying to explain this stuff, the go-getters among you can
be my backseat drivers and offer suggestions.
Here are some
definitions, freely presented with no strings attached:
Nervous - easily agitated or alarmed; tending to be anxious;
highly strung
Scared – fearful, frightened.
Clear as mud now, right? (Meaning it isn’t clear at all!) Truly, those definitions sound pretty much the same but here
is how I tend to think about it:
To be nervous about something is to be apprehensive or
anxious about something that isn’t clearly defined; usually a worry about
something which may happen in the future.
You might be a young woman going out on her first date and experiencing
nervousness, walking around on pins and needles, with butterflies in her
stomach and a million unanswered questions. What if he doesn’t show up? What if we don’t know what to talk about? What if he struggles to make ends meet
and doesn’t have any money to pay?
What if he calls me the apple of his eye or uses terms of endearment
like “Honey” on this first date?
(Now I’m feeling itchy!) What if he just patronizes me, acting kindly
but in a way to show how superior he is?
Or even most horrible of all, what if he has Hong Kong Foot? Any offspring you might have would
probably inherit this disease of civilization. So there you are, more nervous than a long-tailed cat in a
room full of rocking chairs.
Oh, sorry, I’m having a senior moment. What were we talking about? Oh yes, nervousness versus being
scared.
To be scared of something is to be afraid in a current
situation. When you are walking
out to your car at night in a dimly lit parking lot in some ghetto and there is
a gang of rough-looking men nearby, then you are scared and start shaking like
a leaf. ( I always carry a leaf around
for the purposes of comparison. If
the leaf shakes as much as I do, then I know I’m scared. ) The facts are irrefutable: this is a
dangerous situation, the outcome possibly grave enough to cause a sea change in
your life. The peril is clear in
your mind – these ruffians might approach you and pressure you into buying Boy
Scout cookies. Or they may steal
everything from you, taking lock, stock and barrel. Naturally, it’s best not to prejudge these fellows, they may
have congregated just to celebrate Father’s Day (while their wives ignore them
in favor of Mother’s Day) so best not to complain about the splinter in their
eyes until you deal with the beam in your own eyes.
OK, I’ve rambled on too long. It’s time for me to see a man about a horse. Or maybe it’s a dog.
Farewell,
Kevin
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